The Illusion of Control

The chemo people called me today and we talked about everything I could expect with chemo and what was going on in the schedule.She spent an hour on the phone with me and I am SO APPRECIATIVE.

Apparently they were just placing holds waiting on the MUGA scan. I was a bit confused on this, because I thought I needed the chemo port to happen before chemo could even start, and I don't have my chemo port.

She explained they were going to do a PICC line if the chemo port wasn't in place. A PICC line basically means they're going to go in through my arm, and insert a long catheter down the vein until they get it into my chest where the larger veins are.

Yeh. No. I'm already freaked out enough about the chemo port, where they essentially do the same thing, but they start in the chest and go to the jugular. I don't need to be freaked out about this. I'll wait for the chemo port.

We negotiated. I realize that with cancer some control over my life is going out the door. My brain needs the illusion of control.

I also found out that I need to go have a blood draw a few days before every chemo treatment so they can check my blood levels.